My bed and I

When I was in college I had to share a room with my best friend. Now he was everything one could ask for in a roommate (and no we are not gay), but one thing just made me sad about having to share a room - I had to sleep on a single bed.

The sorrow of sleeping on a single bed is that when I sleep, I have to subconsciously confine my body and limbs to its rather limited borders. For someone with a free spirit like myself, this is akin to confining a nightingale in a golden cage, or a great conqueror to a land the size of Singapore. In truth, I think of my bed as a autonomous nation. This is why I maintain a large number of pillows and use them to build a wall around me, something like the great wall of China.

What scares me is in the future when I get married I shall have to share the bed with somebody of unknown size. To ward against the horror of my territory shrinking, what must be done is to acquire two king-sized beds and stack them together side by side. This would be the equivalent of the Mongol empire in terms of mattresses, and only such a region would be worthy of my rest.

By the way I shall also include a lovely song in hope of changing local musical tastes to be better (i.e. more like my own).