Many people associate promiscuity with the onset of modern, "Western" culture and the decline of traditional morals. The shocking truth though is that cultures which many may regard as primitive can be far more promiscuous.
In the Dyak communities in Sarawak, everyone stays together in the longhouse, which can contain many families. Now if a girl sleeps with some young fellow it is really no big deal, since everyone stays together as one big family anyway, the babies are just cared for by the old women who really don't have much else to do anyway. So everything is fine and dandy.
According to what I have heard, if outside visitors go and visit the longhouses, after the proper ceremonies have been performed and the chief satisfied they become formal visitors of the longhouse and are treated warmly. During this warmth and cheer some hanky panky may occur. As each family within the longhouse has its own room, it might seem hard to accomplish such behavior. Yet the defense of family members is not foolproof; the room is not sealed tight as there is an airspace between the wall and the ceilings. Ardent young men can then climb over the wall and achieve consummation with the young unmarried daughters, if they do not resist the other members of the family treat it as a normal occurrence.
Of course if you decide to try this experience after reading my blog I would refrain from taking any responsibility for your wellbeing, as there may well still be headhunters in the region.
Even this liberality pales before that of the traditional Tibetan society though.
In Tibet, out on the plains, the old custom is that once girls reach a marriageable age of 15 or so, they move out from the main tent in which the family resides into a smaller white tent some yards away. This is an open invitation for every young man in the vicinity to come and make love to her. Once she is pregnant, she is prime marriageable material for she has proven her fertility, thus marriage invitations come flying in like spam mail. Due to the poor hygiene and healthcare in the area, getting pregnant is not easy at all!
The result of this is nobody knows who their father is, at least for firstborn kids. Lest you imagine many Darth Vader moments, the fathers don't know who their kid is too. I think the most that could be done is a rough guess.
Therefore we can see that promiscuity is not copyrighted by modern society at all. Not by far.
What the hell are you talking about?
ReplyDeleteThe Dayak communities are NOT as sexually liberal/ open-minded as you have portrayed. If the young girl is under 16 y/o, that young fellow whom she has sex with has to either marry her or be put in jail. Like other communities, the families care about the welfare and reputation of their girls.
I don't know what kind of fantasies you guys have been passing around, if what you said is a normal occurrence, Sarawak would have been flooded by horny outsiders. Gosh, now I seriously wish that headhunters still exist.
So much false facts in your post, concerning the Dayak community. There is no such promiscuous activity going on!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteResearch, my friend, RESEARCH!!! Don't trust hearsay. Do your read-ups. Great command of English doesn't make you a smarter person, y'know.
Besides, do you want to get arrested under Section 114A for malicious content (or spreading false facts about a local culture)? Of course not.
In an attempt to shed light..
ReplyDeleteBut before I do, so as to make some things clear:-
I am neither Dayak nor of "Western" origin.. but I've lived amongst the Dayak community long enough to know.
So, I am not gonna turn defensive..
Although I dont take offense, I think it is only right to give justice for both sides (the author and also the comment before me.
Here's my (more than) 2 cents:
Ngayap is 'THE' formal courtship method.. Being a rather conservative community, dating is not something Dayak teens do. If one is infatuated with another, the only way to know the other side is via 'ngayap'.
And yes, although 'ngayap' is usually carried out during the night, when most are asleep, it cannot be blatantly be categorised as fornication.
So what goes on during "ngayap", you ask?
It's what a Western culture call "blind date".. both get to know each other i.e. ask questions about each other.
This process usually takes place in a "sadau" an attic-like section in a longhouse, used mainly for storage.
But if its at night, surely something hanky-panky goes on right??? WRONG!
As you know, the longhouse is very communal, and yes, rather congested I might add. And to avoid, ogling eyes and eavesdropping, when everyone is around, the process is carried out at night. Read 'privacy'.. Much like why (in modern cultures) we go out for a date in a nice restaurant, rather than having it in either one's living room. Rather awkward when everyone's in the house, right?
Even though, it is carried out at night, it is not done without the knowledge of their parents. This courtship does not go on forever. After the third meet, if they have not decided to marry, they are to stop seeing each other. But if both parties consent, they are to marry according to Dayak customs, witnessed by the Tuai rumah (head of the long house)
But to correct some errors made by the previous commentor, Dayaks are known to marry even at a young age of 14/15. Yes it may sound illegal under Malaysian law (sex with a minor). But marriage under Dayak customs takes precedence, so long as the Tuai Rumah gives the green light.
Is there an element of promiscuity then? Well, if you carry out the 'ngayap' without anyone's knowledge and no one gets pregnant.. then you'd probably get away with it. But chances are, with there being so many people in the longhouse. So I wont rule out the probability of "premarital sex", But they do eventually get married.
"Now if a girl sleeps with some young fellow it is really no big deal, since everyone stays together as one big family anyway, the babies are just cared for by the old women who really don't have much else to do anyway. So everything is fine and dandy."
The quote above might have an element of truth in it. But the way it is worded is rather abhorrent and misrepresentative. It is as if you are saying, they have multiple sex partners!
This is actually a new thing. Thanks to modernisation. And due to societal demands to work/get a job, etc. A lot of young men leave their villages in search for work in the cities. So, a strained relationship does happen. Some couples remarry. And as an impasse, the kid from the previous marriage is cared by their grandparents.
So in a nutshell:
Traditionally: NO promiscuity is not a dayak culture.
Modern: Yes, some couples do remarry. BUT NOT promiscuity/incense (having multiple sex partners) even in the most modern sense!
Dear friend, please, please, read and understand more.
ReplyDeleteFirstly, there is such a thing such as 'ngayap'. but to clarify, old longhouses do not have rooms. Yes, there are such things long ago such as men who wants to acquire a wife to climb the roof(or find their way one way or another) in order to get into the partition of a longhouse. Because you also have to remember that before religion, before civilization, before social order, sex initiated marriage, with or without consent by parents. again, there were never rooms in longhouses, and the logic here is obvious. Sex initiated marriage.
Women never used bras before, it didn't exist. It was also acceptable that in the olden days that headhunting was a way to prove the extent of a warrior. Prostitution started in rome, because husbands were afraid that their beloved trophy wife would die of childbirth, losing beauty and etc. Prostitutes were basically in or behind the house to bear children.
Polygamy, homosexual relationships, weird types of worship, happens in every culture. But that doesn't mean it should describe a race or an ethnicity as the most unholy of all civilizations. Culture shape civils/citizens, and whatever is acceptable in society during that time, is not a subject of criticism.
But for 'ngayap',it isn't rape culture, and do not confuse it with promiscuity or some other uncivilized phenomenon, its just an old culture that was uncalled for(for us in this era), and it is as normal as it could be for people of that time and place.
Even if it still lives on now, (i say this with an IF) not every practice of culture matures/ evolves at the same pace as others. Old habits die hard. But if this is done as an excuse even if he knows what social rules we have now in this era, then the fault should be on the person, not the whole pool of race/ethnicity. Or a better question would be, if this person still continues 'ngayap', without knowing the current civilization and ways of the world today, having no religion, no social order, should we even question his belief on right and wrong?
Changes happen,its different now. We of all people should know that, knowing religion, civilization, social order have evolved during the centuries. Western ideas and eastern ideas all have uncalled and unexpected culture/practices/belief/etc.
To label "ngayap" as promiscuity alone is a direct translation that you have no/do not understand the meaning of 'adat'. Nor do you understand what civilization means/has evolved to, in hindsight.
Please. Perspective, perspective, perspective.
Well guys, I'm from Sarawak too, what I've described in my post was told to me from older family members staying in Sarawak, not my own conjecture.
ReplyDeleteOn Ngayap, yes there may be no or less sleeping around happening. From what I hear there is quite a lot of it, but bear in mind that I do look down on the traditional Dayak culture on this.
What I merely intend to say is that if native cultures sleep around before marriage, as Western cultures do, despite what we call it there is not much of an intrinsic difference - it is still sex for pleasure outside marriage.
So we should not claim moral superiority to Western culture on this point. I personally do not feel that sex and morality has any connection.
sorry, i meant to type "do not"
ReplyDelete